Lies On Weight Loss, Law of Attraction and Fat Shaming

Yesterday, I saw a ‘spiritual teacher’ say this: “excess weight is a sign that you are not being loving and grateful!” What the heck? NO. This is not right. I felt so angry when reading this because there were all of these people celebrating the comment and looking to this person for more advice. 

What world are they living in? I’ll tell you…

It is a world, where people put this “spiritual teacher” on a pedestal because she is speaking to their shame and they don’t know it yet. They think her words might save or that her magic pill will solve their problems. 

This is not right and it is this so-called spiritual teacher that has inspired this blog post today.  I want to break down what you really need to know about “weight loss” and “the law of attraction” and why I see her words as fat shaming… because they tear down at our self esteem.

It’s like the “excessive weight” comment is an insult assuming this person isn’t good enough because they have “too much weight” or that their struggle is all of their fault because they haven’t figured out “loving and gratitude”…

It’s a shame throwing insult wrapped up in guilt and disguised as a spiritual new age affirmation.


And it’s all bull shit. 


Every-single-one-of-us can be more “loving” and “grateful” right now. We all have room for that growth. Okay, that’s out of the way.

The statement “excess weight is a sign that you are not being loving and grateful” is one of the problems with the body, food and “weight loss” culture we are living in. This is like saying, your car stopped running because you didn’t give it enough car washes and sweet words in the past 10 years. Sure… your car, could use some more gratitude and love from you, but it didn’t stop running because of it.  Your body is like a car, it  is way more complex and deserves way more credit for it’s complexities. 


If we believe this crap about “excess weight being a sign that you are not loving and grateful” we immediately shame and guilt ourself for our weight in a way that is super unhealthy. This is a form of fat shaming. 

This spiritual teacher talks a lot about the law of attraction. The law of attraction is mostly taught completely wrong and the other problem is that there are other “universal laws” that I believe need to be learned with it in order for it to actually work.  Regardless, I could plainly see that the “teacher” is teaching it all wrong and people are buying into this…

So I want to take a minute to share a few things with you about all of this. 

There are 4 main reasons people struggle with being overweight.

1) Inflammation in the body. This is caused from various factors, including stress, food/diet, genetics, environment.

2) Toxicity in the body. The body is not in alignment and it’s having a tough time releasing the toxins that it wants to. Again, this can be caused from various factors, including: stress, food/diet, genetics, environment.

3) Mindset and feelings. How do you see yourself? How do you feel about yourself? How do you treat yourself and speak to yourself?

4) Self acceptance of your present moment situation.

One of my clients shared this with me:

“I’m constantly berating myself for being alive. I am obsessed with thinking about what to eat, what I ate yesterday, my food choices tomorrow and if I’m doing it right. I feel guilty all the time. I shame myself when my clothes don’t fit. I punish myself for my lack of confidence and blame it on my weight. Everything I do, talk about and think basically supports the idea that I am fat.”

My first impression of this client, after hearing her speak was amazement. She is so self aware. My second feeling was her sadness. I could feel how deeply painful this all was for her.  She could literally see what she was doing to herself and how her thoughts and words were directly impacted her reality.  The problem, was that she felt stuck because she didn’t know how to stop it and she didn’t know what to do… 

So, I got irritated and annoyed with people lumping the weight loss conversation into such simplicity because the people who are reading it are in a very vulnerable place.

This quote I keep referencing is making us think that our thoughts, feelings and energy can change everything …  And they really can change so much, but we must simultaneously change our food, beliefs and habits around our body in order for it to work. We must look at the inflammation and toxicity of our body too.

Science tells the truth and I like a bit of the woo-woo sprinkled on top of my science and truth.  This is called the Law Of Polarity, which is another one of those laws that needs to be practiced with “attraction stuff”. 

1) It isn’t about weight loss. I know, I know… you might say, “but it is about weight loss for me!”  I hear you, I really do. And yet, you cannot ask for the universe to give you what you want. The Universe doesn’t listen to demands. It doesn’t just respond to what we want when we ask in this way. 

Wayne Dyer said it best,

“First of all, I think the law of attraction has been misstated. You do not attract what you want. You attract what you are. That’s how the law of attraction works.”

Constantly focusing on “wanting to lose weight”, like it is our full time job – basically says to the universe this: “Gimme, gimme, gimme. I want, I want, I want” and this translates into “I don’t have enough”. It translates into having a shortage. This shortage is a feeling and thought that tells the universe to give you more of that – a shortage and not enough.

So instead, using Wayne Dyer’s wisdom, instead… YOU ATTRACT WHAT YOU ARE.

2) You Live What You ARE. 

You instead ask the universe this:

“How can help? How can I serve? How can I show up and ‘be’ today? How can I serve others? How can I serve this beautiful body today?”

And the universe will respond back with, “how can I serve you?”

If you are someone who wants to lose weight, then please don’t look for the magic pill… instead, follow the system I wrote to you and live this so you can LEARN WHO YOU REALLY ARE.

I know it’s not always easy, but it is simple:

  1. Reduce inflammation in your body
  2. Reduce and then eliminate toxicity (making sure your body continues to do it on it’s own)
  3. Change your thoughts and feelings about your body and Self. 
  4. Practice Self-Acceptance (and radical appreciation)

A quick tip: practicing self-acceptance of your body exactly as it is right now.  Move forward from this space is the only way to grow. Acceptance of where you are now.  This sometimes triggers people and makes them, mad, angry, frustrated and confused.

If this is you, take these feelings and emotions as good signs. Seriously. It means that you are ready to make a change and finally feel into the emotions and feelings that have kept you stuck for so long.

Anger and frustration can be a great catalyst for our change.

Accepting doesn’t mean you settle.

Accepting means you are ready to take action.

You body is beautiful, I know this because it is the house of your soul.

How will you serve with your body today?



PS. Sometimes, we need help with this stuff. The self aware client that I shared above… when she asked for help and we looked at her “calorie counting”, which I am not a fan of… we discovered she wasn’t eating enough! No joke. She needed to eat more food to hit her goals. It’s okay to ask for help. I have a few openings for private coaching right now and I begin filling our next coaching group soon. If you are serious, fill out an application here.